Valerie Bertinelli Opens Up About Honoring Eddie Van Halen on Anniversary of His Death: ‘I Love Ed. Never Stopped Loving Ed.’
Valerie Bertinelli is standing firm in her decision to publicly commemorate her late ex-husband, Eddie Van Halen, on the anniversary of his passing. The actress and best-selling author took to Instagram to share a nostalgic photograph of the two of them together, and while some fans welcomed the heartfelt tribute, others were quick to criticize her for posting it. Rather than let the negativity get under her skin, Bertinelli addressed the backlash directly and made it clear that she has learned to tune out the haters.
On Tuesday, October 6, Bertinelli, 66, posted a throwback image of herself with Van Halen, the legendary rock guitarist known for co-founding the iconic band Van Halen. The two were married from 1981 to 2007, and their relationship produced one son, Wolfgang Van Halen, who has since become an accomplished musician in his own right. Bertinelli’s social media tribute came with a deeply emotional caption that touched on the permanence of love even in the face of loss. “Photos may fade, like old photos do, but not the memories and never the love,” she wrote alongside the image. The post was a simple, heartfelt nod to a man who had once been the center of her world, and it immediately drew reactions from friends, fans, and followers.
But not all of those reactions were supportive. Bertinelli took to Instagram shortly after the post went live to explain that sharing a picture of her and Eddie often brings a wave of criticism. “It does not take long for me to get a lot of pushback when I post a picture of me and Ed,” she shared in a video message. “It used to really bother me. It does not, not anymore. Not any longer, because I learned a lot.” Those words marked a powerful shift in how she chooses to handle public scrutiny. Where she once might have deleted a post or second-guessed herself, she now stands by her decision without apology.
Van Halen, who died of cancer in 2020 at the age of 65, was a towering figure in the world of rock and roll. As one half of the Van Halen brothers alongside drummer Alex Van Halen, he redefined guitar playing and became one of the most influential musicians of his generation. For Bertinelli, though, he was not just an icon on stage. He was her husband, the father of her child, and a man she continued to love long after their marriage ended. Their divorce in 2007 came after more than two decades together, but Bertinelli has always been open about the deep affection she still held for him. In the years since his death, she has repeatedly honored him, often sharing memories, photos, and reflections about their time together.
The criticism she received for this latest tribute, however, prompted her to speak out more forcefully than usual. In her video message, she described the strange, unspoken way that some people seem determined to police her grief and her expressions of love. “They’ll never quite say the words, ‘You’re not allowed to love your ex-husband,’ but they berate you and berate you for months, make you think you’re crazy until you finally say, ‘OK, fine, I don’t love him,’” she said. She went on to say that the same critics would never directly tell her to remove a photograph of her ex-husband, particularly one that also included her son in better days. “They’ll never say take it down,” she explained. “But [they’ll say] that you’re obsessed, say all kinds of fed up s until you take the picture down.”
It was a candid and unfiltered assessment of the way the internet can twist a person’s honest emotions into something ugly. But Bertinelli was quick to clarify one thing: her anger and frustration about online harassment were not directed at Eddie Van Halen. When a follower reached out to ask if she was talking about her late ex-husband, Bertinelli responded directly, saying she was not referring to him. Instead, the person she alluded to was someone who “wasn’t in my life long.” The clarification was important to her, because the love she feels for Eddie is still very much alive, and she refuses to let anyone rewrite that reality.
Bertinelli’s willingness to speak openly about her grief and her continued love for her ex-husband is hardly new. In her memoir, Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect, she reflected at length on their two-decade marriage, their divorce, and the complicated but loving bond that remained until his death. In the book, she wrote about Eddie with a tenderness that touched readers. “He wanted to be the right person, the good person that he already was. His heart was always pure,” she wrote. The memoir, officially released on Tuesday, March 10, offered an intimate look at one of the most famous musical marriages of the late twentieth century, and it cemented Bertinelli’s reputation as someone who is willing to be vulnerable in public.
That vulnerability has come with a cost. As a public figure, Bertinelli has learned that sharing moments of genuine emotion often invites unwanted commentary. Over the years, she has been criticized for talking about Eddie too much, for not talking about him enough, for honoring him in the wrong way, or for seemingly moving on too quickly. It can be difficult to navigate those expectations, particularly when the love she feels is not a simple one-dimensional thing. She loved Eddie as a husband, as the father of her son, and later as a friend and former partner. That kind of love does not simply disappear because a marriage ends. Aging, distance, divorce, and even death do not erase it. Bertinelli has come to understand this deeply, and she is no longer willing to apologize for it.
In the same video message, she went on to explain that her heart is big enough to hold love for many people at once. “My heart can hold a lot of love. I have a big piece right here that’s got Ed’s name all over it. And [my son] Wolfie’s name. And my daughter-in-law. And my mother. And my cats. And my girlfriends. And all the people that I love in my life,” she shared. “My heart can hold it all. If I ever fall in love again, I’ll make room in my heart for that person, without it touching the love I have for Ed, my son, my daughter-in-law, all the people that I love.” It is a beautiful philosophy, and one that many people need to hear. Love, after all, is not a finite resource. It does not run out. It expands, changes, and adapts. By making room for new love, she does not have to leave behind the old.
Bertinelli concluded her message with a direct challenge to the people who try to shame her for mourning in her own way. “Your heart opens up. Because your heart can hold a lot of love. All of our hearts can. So you can’t bother me. I love Ed. Never stopped loving Ed. And my heart loves a lot. Don’t you wish yours could too?” Those words were more than just a defense of her Instagram post. They were a declaration of self-acceptance and a reminder that grief does not have an expiration date. No one else gets to decide how long someone should mourn, what they should post, or whom they should continue to love. For Bertinelli, the answer is simple: she will keep sharing memories, keep loving, and keep standing firm in the knowledge that her heart has room for everyone she has ever cared about.
The response to Bertinelli’s posts was overwhelming, with many fans posting supportive messages and thanking her for being so honest about her feelings. In a world where celebrities are often expected to present a polished, one-dimensional public image, Bertinelli’s willingness to show her real emotions stands out. She has spent years being open about her struggles with self-image, her complicated relationship with fame, and her grief over losing someone who once meant so much to her. She has also been clear that she will not be shamed into silence by anonymous commenters who do not understand the depth of her loss. Her latest video was proof of that.
As the world continues to remember Eddie Van Halen through his music, his influence, and his legacy, Bertinelli’s own memories serve as a deeply human reminder that behind every rock legend there is a personal story. For her, that story includes years of shared laughter, complicated moments, and a lasting connection that even death could not break. The photograph she shared may have been old and faded, but the love she holds for Eddie remains as vivid as ever. And after years of learning how to deal with the harsh realities of social media, she has finally reached a place where that love is all that matters.
Valerie Bertinelli’s message is clear: she loved Eddie Van Halen before, she loves him still, and no amount of online criticism will ever change that. She has made peace with the past, with her grief, and with the complicated beauty of holding a broken heart wide open. And in doing so, she has offered a powerful lesson to anyone who has ever been told to stop loving someone they lost: do not listen. Love is not something to be hidden or apologised for. It is something to carry forward, proudly, for as long as you live.
